Thursday, August 19, 2010

3 years ago today

Willem asked me about Grandma yesterday out of the blue. Wanted to know how Grandma died? Why? So I explained in detail at the cellular level why cancer made Grandma die….I think I lost him at “So there are these cells in your body….” He strangely asked if Grandma walked with a walking stick? Not sure what that was about? I guess sick people have walking sticks? We won’t let our kids forget about Grandma that is for sure! I see parts of Mom in them as they grow up….and it just re-confirms my beliefs. She isn’t in heaven or in a spirit world where many put such high hopes and so called “faith” in….she is right here with us….in our kids, my niece and nephew, sister, cousins, aunts and uncles, and of course my Grandma (who I need to go visit one of these days) and everyone that she influenced. When I hug my kids I am also hugging a part of my Mom and it makes me feel really good.

It would appear somewhat odd to be writing to Mom on a blog that she can’t read but in reality it is therapeutic for me….I get to remember and hopefully make others who read this remember too. I am sure this will cause many tears but it sure makes you feel better after a good cry.

Mom, I must tell you a story again…. but there is so much to tell so I can only give snippets of the past year or so…

….we got to experience Africa…and so glad we did, it was amazing. I can remember Dad and you telling us your experiences of Zimbabwe and South Africa and the time you had to emergency land in a game park. Your story makes so much more sense to me now after being there. The animals were incredible, and I got the kids spotting birds with the binoculars. I think one of them will inherit the bird gene…not quite sure which one is the lucky one…ha!

We walked in the footsteps of the Pharaohs in Egypt and watched Willem have an allergic reaction to the camel he was riding on….maybe that is something else he inherited from you? Which makes me think, I wonder who inherited your awesome sneezing gene? I loved reading about King Tut as a kid and got to see his solid gold mask up close.

We ate so well in Greece…tomatoes, cucumber, feta cheese, olives (yuck), and olive oil. I don’t recall if you ate olives…but you must have because they are so salty…and I think you use to carry a salt shaker in your purse.

Mary got to see part of her heritage in the Ukraine and I got to see what Mary is going to look like as a Baba when our kids have kids. Speaking of the Ukraine, I remember you making colored easter eggs with the food coloring for us as kids, which we will have to remember to do for our kids.

Not sure what you would have thought about Russia….people weren’t that friendly, and I am sure if Grandpa Baird knew we were there he would have told us to watch out for those damn commies. Oh, and I can only imagine what Grandpa would have thought about China and not to mention Africa….something along lines of a well known joke ….chink, chink, chink, nigger…nigger…nigger, chink, chink, chink – representing a sprinkler (I am so bad at recalling jokes). China was very cool, the people loved your grandchildren….the Great Wall and the Terracotta Warriors were definitely wow moments….and the reason why we travel.

You would have loved South-East Asia – the people watching was top notch…which I know is one of the Baird past times that will get passed on from generation to generation. We went to a water-puppet show in Vietnam (stop it Grandpa Baird…ha!) that was like nothing we had ever seen before. And the nemo (clown-fish) on Tioman Island were amazing….I will never forget the time in Mexico we snorkeled together which is one of my favorite memories of us together….and I have to thank you for making your grand-daughter into a snorkeling queen…wow is she a fish! Robyn and I snorkeled together every chance we got…it felt so natural and comforting to be drifting weightless in the ocean looking at colorful fish and coral with my daughter beside me…I think I know why.

Before South-East Asia we spent a couple of weeks in Western Australia with Dad traveling north of Perth. Feeding wild dolphins, going on a lobster harvest and eating fresh lobster (I think you and Dad use to make the Red Lobster a regular visit)…seeing where life began in the oceans by looking at Stromatolites, walking on billions of shells at a place called Shell Beach (you would have loved that place), and I almost got bitten by a sea snake….again, I am your accident prone son.

In New Zealand, we went bungy jumping and jetboating where Dad said he almost crapped his pants when we came within inches of the cliff face. We toured Lord of the Rings sites, saw yellow-chinned penguins, walked beneath glaciers, saw hundreds of waterfalls, almost ran out of gas while detouring around flood waters, went on a brewery tour, got chased by seals….oh, you would have loved the adventure…I know Dad did…but I am sure he was feeling lonely without you as I know it was one of the places you guys always wanted to go to….but we experienced it and again you were there with us.

The year in Australia was an accomplishment, something we had set out to do before you got sick and promised to fulfill our dream for you. I remember telling you many times in the hospital that we would plan to go again and not to feel bad about it. And wow did we make the most of it. We left a part of you there…spreading some of your ashes at Diggers beach on Mother’s Day. The place I learned to surf and my plan worked as you did the motherly thing and made sure I didn’t get taken by a shark. We will be back there again I am sure many times to visit. Now we need a plan to spread some of you here in Canada…in the places you loved…I will work on that with Shelley and Dad.

We are back in Airdrie now, getting back to our normal routine…but after a year like we had it is going to be tough to settle in.


Another year has passed and can’t say it is getting easier without Mom….but we are starting to heal slowly. The kids, Mary and I will make the most of every day….until next year….always thinking of you…love you Mom…Grandma.

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